Tag Archives: Ohio

Ain’t no party like a Xavier party. Honestly.

We headed north to Cincinnati. The drive was only about 2 hours or so, but after driving around so much earlier, we were pretty exhausted. We managed to get turned around leaving Maker’s Mark – probably because it’s in BFE Kentucky where there’s no reception – so we took an odd route to get there. Once again more back roads, which is cool but really slow.

Our drive took us through Frankfort, the capital of Kentucky. We actually drove right past the Capitol building. It was on a really nice tree-lined street. I popped my head out of the sunroof at a red light to get a picture.

Convertible guy

The picture turned out to be of mid life crisis man driving his convertible instead.

The drive was relatively painless. We got to Cincy in the early evening to stay with Betz’s friend at Xavier. She made us dinner, which was awesome. She lived in a pretty big house, so we met the roommates and began the festivities for the night. We had a few drinks at her house while we got ready, played some games, and so on. Then the fun really began.

We went to a house party somewhere. When we walked in, there weren’t very many people there. Everyone was very segregated into their friend groups like it was a middle school dance when guys and girls are afraid to talk to each other. A really drunk guy stumbled by with a beer bong. However we couldn’t find any beer. The three of us stared at each other in astonishment. Xavier parties make Pitt parties look like a club in Barcelona.

After leaving the crashing and burning meet and greet we headed to some bars downtown. We danced around and did things that people do at bars like wait in the bathroom line and constantly look for your friends.

I slept on the couch that night and woke up to one of the roommates and her parents walking around the living room. So there goes my dignity. It’s a shame all my clothes were on – things could have gotten really weird then. After they searched for a phone in the couch I was on for some time they left and I slept a few more hours.

Betz and I left around 11 or 12 to head back to his house in Greenville. It’s about an hour and fifteen minutes north of Pittsburgh. On the way there we jammed out to Soulja Boy to rid ourselves of the crippling boredom that Ohio brings to America.


Good luck other drivers.

We arrived at Betz’s in the early evening. I met his family (sans father but including niece and nephew), saw his house, ate venison for the first time (that’s deer, folks), saw his farm and multitude of animals (including an awesome dog), had a bonfire, met another friend of his, chatted a lot with all these new people, and called it a night.

In the morning I was heading home for the first time in what felt like a year.


The Lampshade Capital of the World

As I finished up the last of my heart-wrenching goodbyes, I packed the last few things into my car for the long drive ahead. College was officially over, and I was moving to LA for the summer. The sun was breaking through the clouds in a very un-Pittsburgh-like fashion as my best friend and I climbed into my two door Honda Accord to start the long trip to sunny California. It was going to last 7 days and 6 nights with stops all across the country.

To understand the trip, you have to understand that my friend and I have a relationship that can only be described as “pushing the limits of the bromance”. Basically we’re two ball taps away from my mom “loving me no matter who I am”. It’s love in the straightest way possible.

So my definitely not boyfriend and I hit the road heading west. Our first stop was 8 hours away – Chi-Town. However we hit an obstacle before Chicago: Ohio and Indiana.

On a whim because I’m creative and spontaneous (aside from my numerous other positive qualities) I decided I was going to take a picture of the “Welcome to” sign at the border of every state we entered. Things started off great in Ohio:

This was followed by our first sight in this great state – a tractor trailer with not two but three trailers attached. This blew my mind because I’ve never seen this in PA, most likely because we have landforms. Needless to say Ohio was opening my eyes to the wonders of the free world.

When we got hungry, luckily, were about to hit Toledo. We’d heard of Toledo before, so we decided to find the nearest Chipotle (obviously). As we got off the highway, I realized Toledo was not the sprawling metropolis I had envisioned. Aside from Chipotle, I think the newest thing was an Old Country Buffet from 1987.

However it did have the following: a restaurant called “Good Food”, a hotel called “Best Hotel”, and most importantly an enormous store called “Lampshade World”. This proves that Ohioans are not only creative, but are on the forefront of technologic and economic prosperity. When I think “What is one product that is so versatile and profitable I could fill up a warehouse with it and call it a store?” I think lampshades.

We dined with Toledo’s finest, and after about 15 minutes of lampshade jokes, we got the fuck out of there, dubbing it “The Lampshade Capital of the World”. We crossed into Indiana, where my “Welcome to” sign picture taking ability greatly improved, and started counting down the minutes til we got to Chicago.

Day 1 had already been a whirlwind of exhilaration, and it was barely noon.